“Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you must. Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love. And sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts, but then just sometimes... you get it back and live happily ever after.”
The quote simply defines what my feelings and my hopes for someone right now. Here, let me tell you my sad story that happened last year which until now, I can still remember every detail of it.
May 10,2008, I endured one of the worst feeling a man could ever felt. It was that day my heart was crushed and broken. One year after, all those pains and sufferings still remains. Her memories still lingers on my mind. One year after, I still haven’t moved on. And one year after, here I am still wondering what went wrong between the two of us.
What makes this more painful is that during the 4 months that I’ve known her, I was so attached to her. All those places we went, all our memories and all the things she’s done for me is something I’ll never forget. This is the chapter of my life that I’ll surely cherish for the rest of my life. Given the chance to know her is pretty special experience for me. During that time, it was only that course of my life I learned how to love and care so much for someone. All the efforts I’ve made for her, I can honestly say I’ve never done that to anyone else except for her.
People say it’s been over a year, get a life something like that, or move on. But words are easier said than done. For the entire period that I’ve known her, all I did was cared for her. This is simply what makes this even more painful. My friends are trying to hook me with someone but somehow, it didn’t work mainly because I’m still attached to this girl. Her memories are so hard to let go, considering the short period of time that we’ve known each other. I still can’t understand why her memories are hard to forget, just like other people are telling that it’s been a year.
Even though we didn’t end up together, I’m blessed and appreciative that God have given me such contentment in my life. During that period is the only time that I’ve been so happy in my life. Knowing her gives me a new definition of life. It was also during that time, I learned to fight for someone you really cared about. I fought for her yet things didn’t go my way. Looking back, I learned some positives outlook in life. Life’s more than pleasure and money. When you found somebody you really cared about, cherish it and never let her go. Sadly for me, it was never that way with her.
At this point, I’m still optimistic that one day we’ll meet again. I’m still persevering that one day, destiny would go our way. This is one dream that I’m still hoping reality could re-enact for me. For one year, I always ask myself, “Is this it? Is it really over between the 2 of us?” For one year, I’ve always wandered “Does she deserve someone better than me?” It’s agonizing to come to though that she might have found the right one for her. I’ve pondered what my reaction would be if one day my friend would approach me and tell me “pre, my BF na si ….” If that day comes, then I’ll be happy because she has found the right one who would make her happy even though deep inside of me, it’s different.
“Never stop dreaming”. This is one motto that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. I’ll never stop believing that maybe one day our time would come. I’m trying to keep up a positive outlook, by thinking this is not our time. If our time would never come, then I’ll sit back and remember all those memories I’ve had with her, thankful that I’ve been given a blessed chance to meet someone as special as her.
But now, I’m not giving up. Not now. This is not the ending I’ve pictured for the both of us.
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